Divided heart

I've always seen my job as my mission field.

When Mike and I first responded to God's call to serve as full-time missionaries, my heart was torn. I spend 9 hours a day on my mission field plus an additional 1-2 hours each night planning and praying for my mission field - my class, co-workers, boss... Now God is giving me a new field.

This past November, we were accepted by MTW as short-term missionaries. The tear in my heart grew. Now I began to realize the reality that I would not be returning to my classroom next year. I'm going to have to let it go.

Christmas flew past. January - where did it go? Mid-February.

Last weekend, I began organizing our "stuff" into 3 piles: To Honduras, Store, and Get rid of. Clothing - no problem. Personal effect - sure thing! Then came the school supplies. Dead end. These supplies have been my mission field resources the last 5 years!!

We now have a hallway and extra bedroom stuffed with random educational supplies. Do I part with them? Do I keep them? Do I take them? I can feel God shifting my ministry focus from teaching to the people of Honduras.

I love my job. I love my students. God is sending us. I LONG to go. My new mission field approaches but I know that teaching (and Freedom) will always have a place in my divided heart.

-Ash